The Philosophy of One Divide®
The Philosophy of One Divide® is built on the premise that we all have an inner emotional divide. This One Divide is why we haven’t been able to achieve what we have yearned for throughout time: simultaneous independent emotional freedom (individualism) and ONEness (collectivism).
“Individualism and collectivism are opposing forces; however, neither can exist without the other. They are inextricably connected through their dependence on the individual — a singular life domain. This holds true universally, in every culture around the world. Furthermore, in either theory, a given society’s level of equality or ONEness — which has been the aim of many throughout history and which we continue to seek — grows out of the state of the parts that comprise the whole. Thus, whether speaking in individual or collective terms, a community’s elevated state of collective consciousness or ONEness is dependent upon the consciousness or ONEness of the individuals within it; the individual state transcends into the external form. If the individual is divided, the collective will be divided…as the individual cannot be part of a whole if he or she is not whole.”- The Reference Guide to Emotional Warfare® and the Philosophy of One Divide®
Ironically, the Pattern of Emotional Warfare and the Emotional Prison it locks us into — both resulting from the One (emotional) Divide — have become the connective tissue that unifies us — albeit in a counterproductive and unhealthy way, as they also separate us.
All of this, of course, is tied into our underlying fundamental human need for Emotional Survival. This is what joins the Philosophy of One Divide and the field of Emotional Warfare — making the One Divide and Emotional Warfare inextricable from one another. Essentially, the divide provides the space for Emotional Warfare to exist. Furthermore, Emotional Survival and our need for (and obsession with) emotional security are the basis of the paradox of security versus freedom that forces us to use Emotional Warfare.
We can navigate any relationship or interaction more clearly if we have an awareness and explicit understanding of Emotional Warfare. The One Divide is something we all have in common. This divide is at the root of all human conflict and of Emotional Warfare. Together, they have made it nearly impossible to find truthfulness in our interactions, our relationships and, most importantly, ourselves. Our divides prevent us from really connecting with each other or reaching a collective, unified ONEness — and furthermore, they block us from finding the true sense of security in freedom we all search for.
Although the aim and goal of many throughout mankind’s history has been a unified, elevated state of collective consciousness, it continues to evade us. And while there has been improvement over time in the fight for equality and ONEness, the journey, as with everything, is up to each individual. With this in mind, One Divide was designed to help each of us not only find but also defend and protect our independent emotional freedom by learning to identify and reverse the Pattern(s) of Emotional Warfare.
Early in life, we learn to feel secure by gaining acceptance from others and a sense of belonging. To do this, we watch others maneuver and manipulate their own emotional battlefields. Consciously or unconsciously, we model our own behaviors after theirs and build intricate emotional armor in order to survive.
There are many hurdles on the road to gaining acceptance and belonging, and the journey is filled with difficult choices. Most significantly, as we grow, the need for this sense of security increasingly clashes with our equal need for independent emotional freedom — our need to be exactly who we really are. Obviously, there are countless ideologies, therapies and programs designed to help us understand and navigate this dichotomy. Unfortunately, these programs have left us dissatisfied, because they do not tackle the underlying issues that we must understand in order to end our use of Emotional Warfare. Our emotional freedom is the ability to live, being who we really are and sharing our authentic selves while interacting and having relationships with others, without using or being manipulated by the use of Emotional Warfare. Simply stated, you can’t empower someone when they’re unknowingly imprisoned by the Patterns of Emotional Warfare.
Additionally, Emotional Warfare and its Patterns, which come to govern our lives, have become ever more complex and enigmatic as advancements in our understanding of human behavior have inadvertently intensified our ability to use Emotional Warfare. With this, exploring one’s identity and trying to find emotional freedom has only become more problematic — especially in today’s more emotion-based world.
Emotional Warfare can no longer be ignored. The need for universal awareness and education regarding our use of Emotional Warfare and the gravity of its Patterns’ effects throughout our existence is not only self-evident but of vital importance if individual and collective emotional freedom — ONEness — are to be attained. To find the way to freedom, we need new techniques and tools to navigate the endless maze of emotions created by Emotional Warfare and its Patterns.
One Divide aims to assist individuals by providing an approach — a method — to examining their selves — to taking accountability for their divides and eliminating their use of Emotional Warfare in their own lives. It provides the opportunity to truly connect with one another, allowing us to grow and evolve both emotionally and spiritually, which is essential to deepening our morality and humanity. To do this, One Divide looks squarely at the dichotomy between security and freedom and its impact on our inner and outer worlds, and it provides the information we need to end our use of Emotional Warfare.
“I think the theorists I have learned about at university and in the field all had a piece of how to get people to move forward… The Philosophy of One Divide is not only Rogers, Gestalt, Berne, Freud, Ellis put together but a whole lot more.”
Ann Marie Brown Master of Science & Licensed Mental Health Counselor
LMHC, NCC & BCN-Certified in Neurofeedback / Biofeedback
Emotional Warfare® is defined as the strategy of consciously, subconsciously and/or unconsciously redirecting unwanted inward emotions onto another or others (through the use of Tactics) to elicit specific emotional responses for the purposes of acquiring, controlling or manipulating a sense of security for oneself.
The use of Emotional Warfare has become an inherent part of our survival and of our overall existence. It is an emotion-based form of war that we all innately feel as we strive to win and maintain the acceptance and belonging we believe we need for our Emotional Survival. The depth of this war, which we wage in our private relationships and in groups, is deceptive, and we all underestimate it. Emotional Warfare has become a basic element of our lives. It is almost always subconsciously used and is a behavioral issue (or pattern) that pervades society and every interaction and relationship we have. It closes us off from the emotional freedom we search for, and its hidden nature has yet to be properly exposed.
Since Emotional Warfare has long been ignored, we have allowed it to be used and carefully perfected over time. Furthermore, our abilities to observe and learn — especially in terms of pattern recognition and looking for significance in events in our own lives and mankind’s history — have failed to recognize the true depths of the individual and collective repeated cycle and ultimately to identify the Pattern of Emotional Warfare that has created it.
Emotional Warfare has slowly become an inherent part of our overall Emotional Survival as we have evolved as a species, and thus, it has been spliced into our overall human experience; it flows just below (and at times even deeper beneath) the surface of our conscious reality, creating an underbelly to our world which governs us. In this regard, Emotional Warfare informs what has become commonly known as psychological warfare — but is fully distinct from it. Tactics and techniques move out of the realm of Emotional Warfare and into the realm of psywar (i.e., propaganda, perception management, etc.) when they are applied consciously. The mainstream use of psychological warfare and its infusion into modern society (through its insertion into business, professional, political, ideological and educational platforms) forces individuals to use more and more sophisticated forms of Emotional Warfare in their daily lives, creating a cyclical development of Emotional Warfare in the human race.
“With the advent of influences like perception management, exploitation of the Emotional Desperation of others has only escalated in our modern world; our richer knowledge of human behavior has given us more tools to use against each other, and thus the current of Emotional Warfare that circulates among us has intensified.”- The Reference Guide to Emotional Warfare® and the Philosophy of One Divide®
This brings back into focus the Philosophy of One Divide, as one constant remains: the individual and his or her innate desire to survive, both physically and emotionally. We respond to Emotional Warfare on an instinctual level, as it strikes at the core of our fundamental need to feel secure. Our primal instincts keep us alive, not only in the physical world but also in our emotional world. Emotional Warfare taps into both our physical and emotional primal instincts. Fear — an innate and healthy emotion — and the fundamental need to feel secure in life are the basic driving forces behind our emotional primal instincts. But when our fear climbs too high and we feel our fundamental need for Emotional Survival isn’t being met through acceptance and/or belonging, we fill with Emotional Desperation — the antithesis of a healthy level of fear. The volatile boundary that exists between healthy and unhealthy levels of fear continuously fuels our obsession with security and adds a seemingly inescapable layer to the paradox of security versus freedom that forces us to use Emotional Warfare. This layer forms out of the conflict between the fear of uncertainty, which is immeasurable, and the fear of ultimate freedom: being alone in life. Life itself is filled with inevitable daily hardships, which will without question make us feel, as we are emotional beings. Our Emotional Survival will be challenged, and feelings of Emotional Desperation will undoubtedly follow… And so our thoughts single-mindedly return to acquiring, controlling or manipulating a sense of security for ourselves.
The levels of Emotional Desperation within us determine the strength of Emotional Warfare we use to expunge these unwanted emotions and redirect them onto another or others, knowingly or unknowingly; in this way, Emotional Desperation acts as the foundation to Emotional Warfare. The effect of Emotional Desperation is incalculable, and people using Emotional Warfare for their own ends have exploited it throughout time. This leads to internal and interpersonal conflict that, when unidentified or underestimated, can have severe long-term consequences.
The Pattern of Emotional Warfare®
The Pattern of Emotional Warfare® consists of a series of nine interconnected Building Blocks that come to govern our lives. They work almost seamlessly, coming together in a sequence, which compounds their intricacies as they build off each other
The series of psychological steps or Building Blocks that form the Pattern of Emotional Warfare are: Broken Trust, False Self, Emotional Desperation, Emotion-Based Survival Skills (EBSS), Perceived Security, Hidden Agenda, Role(s), Tactics and the Emotional Prison (Level One and Level Two).
These Building Blocks all work off the underlying base formed by the fundamental need for Emotional Survival. They become intermixed after they are established; any given Block may be interdependent on variables present in other Blocks, and not necessarily in the ones that precede or follow it in the sequence. All of these attributes add to the deceptiveness and depth of Emotional Warfare, since it is also directly tied into the underlying base of Emotional Survival.
This pattern becomes apparent when an individual tries to change or to search for independent emotional freedom. For example, internal (and subsequently external) conflict often surfaces when our belief systems or ideologies, personal relationships, professional success and sense of Perceived Security are based on a False Self that is at odds with who we really are — the True Self — and the independent emotional freedom that we are searching for. This False Self disguises what is really going on and stops us from growing as people. This deep inner conflict between True and False Self only makes us need Emotional Warfare more, to regain a sense of security. All this happens because of the internal emotional divide we each have.
The divide is created by a Broken Trust event early in life, which is where our Emotional Survival first becomes an issue; self-preservation and the need for emotional security become paramount. Essentially, we feel Emotional Desperation — the universal fears of aloneness, abandonment and uncertainty — for the first time. We all share this divide, as the Broken Trust is an unavoidable life event. This One (emotional) Divide is what separates an individual into two halves: the True Self and the False Self. The divide is an internal, metaphorical space that fills with Emotional Desperation caused by the Broken Trust event. When the emotions associated with the event remain unresolved, the divide strips the individual of emotional freedom and true emotional security, forcing him or her to rely on a False Self — an internal survival mechanism that shields the source of his or her pain, confusion, fear and Emotional Desperation and prevents anything from exposing it. The False Self is deployed to gain a sense of security in the outer world, and most importantly, it is the administrator of Emotional Warfare. When these unresolved emotional issues are not properly addressed or understood, they lead to ever-present levels of Emotional Desperation, which fuel our use of Emotional Warfare and trap us in negative behavioral patterns. Our need for emotional security and our False Self’s skill in Emotional Warfare deepen from childhood through adulthood. As our False Selves evolve, our Patterns of Emotional Warfare evolve.
The divide creates a chasm between our inner and outer worlds that prevents us from finding our emotional freedom and true security. This increases the dichotomy between our quest for security and our desire for independent emotional freedom, distorting our need for security into an obsession and perpetuating our Patterns of Emotional Warfare.
Unfortunately, the prospect of finding emotional freedom becomes even bleaker, as addressing our Emotional Desperation and need for security is not a top priority, either for individuals or society at large. To do so in today’s world is often deemed too “negative.” This fear of any kind of negativity has arisen as our urgent need for emotional security has taken precedence over our strong desire for independent emotional freedom. Unless we make a conscious decision to choose other priorities, Emotional Warfare will continue to inhibit our emotional and spiritual growth, individually and collectively, keeping that which is truly negative — the current of Emotional Warfare that is circulating among us — embedded in our overall human experience.
The Pattern(s) of Emotional Warfare can be extremely confusing, as the Perceived Security they provide offers conflicting feelings. On the one hand, the Patterns are familiar and therefore comfortable, but on the other hand, we come to loathe having to behave in certain ways in order to be accepted and to gain or maintain our emotional security. Ultimately, this Pattern of Emotional Warfare creates an Emotional Prison for us. The Emotional Prison can seem impenetrable and all-consuming, filling us with yet more Emotional Desperation. The spiral of Emotional Warfare and Emotional Desperation is complex and subtle, leading us to ever-deeper emotional confusion.
Perceived Security &
Emotion-Based Survival Skills (EBSS)
We generate Perceived Security, a false sense of emotional safety, through the efforts of our False Selves, which use their Emotion-Based Survival Skills (EBSS) to create it. We learn these skills early in life, subconsciously and/or unconsciously, by observing and interacting with our primary role models or caregivers.
Emotion-Based Survival Skills (EBSS) are the False Self skills an individual acquires by observing, internalizing and surviving the masculine and feminine emotional traits and responses his or her primary role models or caregivers use during emotional interactions for Emotional Survival.
The EBSS of our emerging False Self is where the repeated cycle that is both predictable and unavoidable takes hold. The repeated cycle is the underpinning of the EBSS and plays a significant part in our Patterns of Emotional Warfare and in providing additional Perceived Security. The EBSS includes only the negative patterns of behavior from the masculine and/or feminine traits of our primary role models or caregivers, and through it, the repeated cycle is passed on for generations. You can trace your EBSS back through the emotional paradigms of your role models or caregivers and their own role models or caregivers. An emotional paradigm is created as the False Self recreates the environment that it knows, which contains particular elements or stimuli that it knows how to react to. Depending on the interaction or the relationship, the False Self will use its EBSS as it deems suitable — and, in doing so, generate Perceived Security. The False Self and its Perceived Security live on emotional paradigms that are recreated endlessly within the repeated cycle. This is where the False Self knows best how to survive.
All of this contributes to the formation of Role(s): the persona(s) a False Self adopts in each sphere of life to win the most Perceived Security possible in each situation and to fight for its Hidden Agenda — which is the False Self’s ultimate, subconscious goal. The False Self believes that achieving the Hidden Agenda (e.g., elevated status or recognition within the person’s life or relationships) will eliminate its Emotional Desperation and make it secure, and it pursues this goal tirelessly.
This Perceived Security, of course, is an illusion. In fact, instead of giving us security, it leads to a counterintuitive cycle of self-abandonment as we begin to trust the False Self to keep us safe and/or win us emotional security through acceptance or compliance from others. Trusting the False Self, though, means abandoning the True Self and sacrificing our individual emotional freedom — taking us farther from the true security in freedom we actually want and need. Furthermore, in order to keep generating Perceived Security, the False Self must operate within the repeated cycle (and, of course, the recreated emotional paradigms within it) to utilize its EBSS — binding the False Self not only to its repeated cycle but also to its Pattern of Emotional Warfare. And as long as people (and their False Selves) are fighting for Perceived Security in their lives and relationships rather than being authentic, within their own self-image and interpersonally, they are using Emotional Warfare.
To maintain, obtain and/or win more Perceived Security, the False Self must use ever more Emotional Warfare. Thus, the inner emotional divide between the True Self and False Self and their opposing views on Perceived Security widen the dichotomy between security and freedom. At the first sign of success, the False Self works diligently and uninterruptedly in search of additional Perceived Security, leaving little room for the True Self. By sustaining Perceived Security, the False Self validates itself and justifies its silencing of the True Self.
Perceived Security has a much larger counterproductive effect on us. It leads us to believe that we are growing as individuals, giving us a false sense of empowerment and further creating the illusion that we have developed a deeper sense of morality or humanity. However, Perceived Security actually keeps us rooted in our repeated cycles and Patterns of Emotional Warfare rather than freeing us from these patterns.
Contradictions between our inner and outer worlds, if exposed, threaten our Perceived Security. When our Perceived Security is threatened by external influences or discord, our inner conflict becomes more overt. Soon, we find ourselves lost in an ever-failing attempt to navigate the emotional divide that separates our inner and outer worlds. Attempts to control or manipulate ourselves and others can produce even greater emotional confusion or struggle, and ultimately greater Emotional Desperation. The illusion of Perceived Security and the vicious cycle of recurring emotional patterns can wreak havoc on personal, social and professional relationships.
In the end, Perceived Security leads to the formation of the Emotional Prison. The Emotional Prison is the psychological state of being stuck in one’s False Self (and therefore in the Pattern of Emotional Warfare), without access to the True Self and emotional freedom.
The Emotional Prison — consisting of two levels — forms when we are unaware of our own False Selves or of Emotional Warfare and is the culmination of all the Building Blocks of Emotional Warfare. The Emotional Prison is the final block responsible for creating the cyclical Pattern of Emotional Warfare that governs our lives.
The First Level of the Emotional Prison
The First Level: The “internal war” of the True Self against the False Self. When we try to change or search for our independent emotional freedom, we are confronted with the often-underestimated thresholds and arcane nature of Emotional Warfare, and we remain imprisoned in our individual Patterns of Emotional Warfare. This is essentially what it means to be surviving and not living, and by doing so, we create the First Level of the Emotional Prison. It is created when we become imprisoned in who we have learned to be, the False Self, and are unable to be who we really are, the True Self — where our essences, souls or spirits reside and where our sense of morality and virtue is generated.
This leaves us trapped and emotionally desperate, which eventually leads to outer conflict. This triggers a repetition of our Patterns of Emotional Warfare.
The Second Level of the Emotional Prison
The Second Level: Others who oppose our emotional freedom. This level is created when we try to break free from the First Level of the Emotional Prison by giving up our False Selves and living in our True Selves and we meet with friction from others — sometimes fierce friction — who fear that our emotional freedom threatens their Perceived Security.
These outside influences will engage in their own versions of Emotional Warfare to oppose our attempts to change. Not knowing how to navigate others’ Patterns of Emotional Warfare or those created by outside forces leaves us more deeply trapped and emotionally desperate, keeping us in or returning us to our First Level. The Second Level of the Emotional Prison can lead to a dispiriting widening of the internal emotional divide, further perpetuating our Pattern(s) of Emotional Warfare.
We are dependent on each other for our overall survival, both physically and emotionally, and therefore we must learn to coexist. However, our Emotional Desperation has driven us to obscure the line between a healthy coexistence and an abnormally interdependent existence that has more to do with surviving one another than supporting one another. As our level of security becomes distorted, we sacrifice our emotional freedom. Our unyielding and fundamental need for Emotional Survival, coupled with the intense fear of being alone in life, leads to a deep desire to be a part of something. Belief systems or ideologies, social groups, families, relationships and professions become necessities rather than true desires. We imprison ourselves in this obsession for security and in the relationships we choose.
Essentially, we are independent people viscously trapped in a codependent world — the relationship of codependency with Emotional Survival is far more complex than we have understood up to this point.